The Reason Why Capsule Corp Was Sued That Summer
by ChronicallyinFlaming
Summary: Written for the dragonball kink meme. Bulma's been having problems lately. Aside from being single again, and this annoying coffee shop opening next door, now she has to deal with some moody destructive prince. Oh well. She'll just make the best of it.


The prompt: Vegeta/Bulma. Hatesex.

The fill:

* * *

Bulma began screaming at him halfway across her yard. Her footsteps echoed and shook the ground underneath, and the perfect insults came slick and sure and biting from her mouth. Mortals quaked under her fury.

Unfortunately, most of her screams were blocked out by the popular coffee shop that had opened next door. It had seemed like a good thing at first, a nice place just across their yard that they could go to during an all-nighter. Then they understood fully what having such a high-traffic place open 24/7 besides their bedrooms meant.

Vegeta didn't even glance up. His sharp chin remained touching his chest. He looked young and pathetic, a boy pouting because he couldn't find his favorite toy. And Bulma knew exactly what toy he had lost.

"I'm not fixing it again. You can learn to fix it. Because I will not.

"_Your Highness."_

His mouth opened slowly. The black eyes that were so much darker than her friends' looked at her.

"Are you listening?"

"Woman," his voice for the second time was a relief. The only other time she'd been happy to hear it was after watching a scary movie in her lab, and hearing some sucking, gnawing noises from the corner of the underground room. It took all her courage to turn on the lights, and seeing that it was Vegeta ransacking her small emergency fridge made her knees weak. 'Thank god,' was quickly followed by telling him that he was a pig and how in the hell could he eat a raw turkey? "You do not tell me what to do."

"You don't tell _me_ what to do!"

The Saiyan stood, getting to his feet so quickly that she literally could not make out anything between the moments on his knees and then abruptly on his feet.

"You don't scare me!" The scientist hoped he didn't notice her voice that slightly quivered at the end. "We both know that if you try anything, Goku will come here and rip you to shreds."

White teeth flashed in the tanned face. Nothing humorous flared in those dark eyes. "Not in time to save you."

"They'll wish me back. You'll be left to rot in hell. With Freiza."

"There are worse things. Such as having to listen to you." He turned away, having decided this was the end. He should have known better when it came to Bulma. It was never the end.

"You think dealing with you is easier?"

Rather than answer her, the alien went back to brooding.

He looked almost normal, sitting there in the grass. Just another fighter stopping over to eat her mother's cooking and get flirting and groped by her. Or to get the dragonball radar and run off to save the planet again.

Maybe that's what he was now, part of the gang. Hadn't he helped them on Namek? When he wasn't trying to kill them? He was just a man, a stupid ego-inflated man. And like any man, he had a weakness. Especially one for a pretty face.

She blinked her eyes slowly. "If you blow up the store next door, I'll let you do whatever you want to me."

Vegeta looked at her for a long moment. "The scarred human broke up with you again, didn't he?"

"How I hate you."

Only he wasn't just a man, alien or not. He didn't leer at her, seemed to care nothing for her looks. The only time he looked interested in anything was when her father would mention an improvement in the training capsule or her mother brought out food. It was odd to be upstaged by her parents. And no one said anything, as though it wasn't anything weird or abnormal, and therefore she was the odd one for thinking about that in the first place.

"If you're not here for anything important, then leave," Vegeta snarled.

"Make me," Bulma snarled right back, leaning in to show her own teeth.

...but she had always enjoyed a challenge.

There was no one more infuriating than Vegeta, even Goku as a young child had been easier than this. Speaking of which, thank god the smaller Saiyan didn't go around in the nude like Goku had as a boy. Yes. Thank god he didn't wear anything less than that skin tight leotard that clung to every bulge and crevice. Every ripple. Every curve.

It hid so little. Nothing, virtually. Virtually nothing at all.

Thank god.

Vegeta was looking at her, disturbed. "Woman? Woman?"

"Uhhg?"

"Are you drooling?"

Bulma wiped absently at her chin. The small man looked even more perturbed and began scooting backwards from her.

A terrible grin spread across her face, one that she was sure the Saiyan had himself worn when he destroyed another planet. So much power in the tan muscular body that was barely taller than Krillin. And here he was, crawling away from her. She began to cackle before he could rise to his feet to run away.

"Oh, Vegeta. Where do you think you're going?"

He glanced behind his shoulder, warily. "Away. Just. Away."

"Oh no." Bulma leered at him, enjoying how her shadow fell across his confused face. "You're not taking that sweet ass anywhere."

"Sweet…what?" He looked down at his backside cautiously.

"Oh yeah. You know what I'm talking about."

She had no idea that he could even shudder. "That's enough."

"Yes. I've had enough of this game. Yamcha and I are done, _and I broke up with him_. So now we can be together."

"What?" Panic, so rare in his life, crept into that normally arrogant voice. "What are you talking about, woman?"

"Oh no, don't call me that. We're past that stage. Call me Bulma. Or better yet," she dropped her voice so it became huskier. "_Mistress_."

Vegeta was shuddering again. "Okay. You win. Go back to just bothering me. Just don't talk like that again."

"Stop making that face. You should be falling to your knees and begging this sex goddess for mercy."

"I should have listened to that scarred human when he recommended wearing a whistle."

"You're not going anywhere." And then she sat on his legs to guarantee he wouldn't escape. "Come on Veggie, we both knew this was a long time coming. Since Namek. Who were we kidding?"

He was reaching out for a handful of grass to pull himself forward with.

"Oh, enough of that."

She leaned forward, over him, to stroke his covered arms with the tips of her fingers. Vegeta made a scrunched face, as though she'd tried to force feed him bugs.

"Why do you resist so? You know that only makes me want you more."

"Ugh. Ugh." His eyes were shut and his mouth all puckered like he was swallowing a lemon.

"You love this. Just admit it."

"I can't kill her," he mused, aloud. "Without Kakarotte coming for me."

"You bastard. Do you have any idea how lucky you are?"

"…Unless I make it look like an accident?"

"Please. I'm invincible. You can't hurt me."

Vegeta swallowed loudly.

"Helpless. Under my control…" Bulma cackled again. Then she sobered up and clapped her hands.

"I want nothing to do with you. Get off me. Get OFF ME!"

"What's that?" She cupped her hand and held it to her ear.

"You heard me, woman."

"Something about getting off? You want me to get you off? Hmm."

"Stop groping me!"

"Make me."

Then he flat shoved her off him, dragging himself up with all the dignity he could muster with grass stains on his clothes. Immediately, she reached out and grabbed for the most solid part of him: that sweet ass. Vegeta made a choking cry, nearly falling over, saying aloud over and over again, "can't kill her, can't kill her."

Her nails dug in, pulling him down to the ground, to her level. "If you so much as bruise me, I'll sic Goku on you!"

"Damn you!"

"Admit that you love it. You've wanted this since Namek."

His hands were stretched out, reaching for a nearby tree to grab. Clearly the man had no plan of action, as a mere tree wouldn't hold her back at all. Easily, she plucked off one of his boots, then another. "You're so short! I don't know how anyone can take you seriously."

Vegeta was growling like an animal, interspersed with curses and pleas for someone to rescue him. Aside from Frieza, had anyone ever made him feel so hopeless…? She hoped not. If there was one thing Bulma disliked, it was second place.

"I hate you," he hissed into her ear.

"Aw, I hate you too."

The Saiyan blinked repeatedly. "Yet you persist. I thought humans were usually fond of those they procreated with."

"I'm not 'procreating' with you! I'm just screwing you. No babies, Vegeta. No babies."

He looked at her for a long moment, then shook his head.

"And really, how can you think I don't hate you? You're the worst person I've ever had to deal with. But you're cute, I have to give you that."

The black eyes only looked more and more shadowed. "You're a sick woman."

"And a determined one. And anyway, who are you to call someone sick? At least I've never murdered anyone."

"I find that difficult to imagine."

"You're hot. I'm hot. Why fight this? It won't go any farther than here." Bulma patted the earth besides her, comfortingly.

Vegeta continued to look at her warily. "What if I don't want to 'screw'?"

The scientist grinned. "Who told you that you have that option?"

She had never seen his eyes look so huge, like a scared little boy. Not even when her mother had groped Vegeta for the first time. "Why are you doing this?"

"Maybe it would be best to think of this as justice. You know, for all the nice things you've been doing lately?"

He seemed to think on that, hard, and for a long time. Which was what she wanted, but not in this context.

"Are you thinking about what position I'm going to screw you in? Oh, stop shuddering. You act like I'm some slug monster."

His skin was ashen, grey against the green grass. "Slugs don't have genitals."

"Oh? And you do? I wondered what that funny bulge was. So, show me 'em."

Vegeta raised his head an inch. "…what?"

"I'll show you mine if you show me yours?"

The dark head hit the dirt again. "…_what_?"

"Just take it out." Bulma cocked her head and tried to smile innocently. "You do have one, right?"

"I will not touch you. When I fight Kakarotte, it will be to prove I am his better. Not _over you_."

"Oh, don't worry. Goku and I were never a thing. Though he is handsome. And tall," she mumbled the last part under her breathe, but Vegeta seemed to have caught the gist and only glared harder. "He's taken though. And I would not want to fight Chi-Chi over him. If she's willing to take a frying pan to the man's head, then who knows what she'd do to someone that tried to take him away."

"You are not seeing me naked."

"I've seen just about everything. When you wear those running shorts. Or when you demand I bring you a warm towel. Or when you wear…well, that outfit you have on now."

They both glanced downward at his clothes.

"I want to go inside to change," Vegeta said, hollowly.

"We both know that's not an option."

"If I undress before you." His words were slow and even, as though speaking with a small child with a learning disorder, or Goku after he'd hit his head again. "You will leave me alone?"

"Sure," Bulma lied gleefully. "Sure I will."

"And," Vegeta continued, gaze not leaving hers. "You will not take pictures of this, as your mother did?"

"She did? When? Man, the only thing she doesn't tell me and holds back on."

"That doesn't matter!"

"…wonder where she kept them? She knows that house better than anyone; they must be hidden really well."

"Stop it!"

"But I can find them. Nothing can be hidden from me. Nothing! Now take it out."

He looked upward, either rolling his eyes or looking skyward towards a god for an answer. Which was kinda funny considering he'd helped kill the guy who was tied to the god of earth, thus causing the guardian's death. Aside from Kami being useless but for the dragonballs, he wouldn't be inclined to help the Saiyan even if he could.

"Fine," he said, the finest words she'd ever heard. As always when she'd gotten her way. "But it will take a moment."

She sat back on bent legs beneath her, looking smug enough to make even Vegeta shake his head over her ego. Then he was too busy writhing and pulling at the blue stretchy fabric. At first Bulma could only admire his athletics and flexibility. But after another moment, she wondered how he could shift himself into such a position, and how his skin could breathe through that stuff.

By the time he was peeling the last bits off his legs, the scientist was gazing upward with one arm tucked beneath her head. "I think that cloud looks like Goku's head."

He did a double take towards the pretty blue sky that personally Bulma thought matched and complimented her hair and eyes.

"Yes." Vegeta looked disturbed. "It does."

"Funny. And that one matches his son's."

"That one just looks like a mushroom cloud."

"Is that a cricket?"

"Maybe."

Then Vegeta shook his wild head. "Now, isn't it your turn? I'll wait."

In less than thirty seconds she was neatly stacking her clothes on top of one another for easy retrieval. Vegeta's eyes were huge again, but she got the feeling it was more from her speedy undressing than her actual nudity. "Come on, look at these."

"I see them." He was making that disdainful face again. "I'm always forced to see them."

"How dare you!" Her hands went to her hips to lean forward and further shove her breasts into his face. "These are perfect! These are awesome! _Stand in awe_!"

"Fine." His mouth was all puckered. "Just get them out of my face."

"No. And how did you fit underwear underneath that outfit?"

Vegeta just stared at her.

"So, nothing to say then? Too taken aback by my beauty?"

The short man looked towards the sky. "That one looks like a toaster."

"Don't you ignore me!"

He scratched his chest casually. "I wonder if your mother is making lunch."

"Like you're getting any! It's time you finally started repaying the debt you owe us for taking you in."

The gaze dropped down to earth. Fury was back in his face. "I am repaying you. By training to help save your pathetic planet."

"After all the stuff you've destroyed? All the demands? Oh no, I need compensation for that."

"What kind of compensation?"

She raised her eyebrow

"I am a Saiyan prince, from a long line of proud warriors-"

"Blah blah blah."

A vein began to throb in his forehead. "I will not earn my 'stay' on my back."

"Then on your knees."

Another vein began to throb.

"Oh, come on. We've come this far. We not go all the way? It'll feel good. No one's here to judge us. Just you, me, and the Goku-shaped cloud." Bulma shrugged. "Maybe it'll loosen you up. Help with your training?"

Now he looked interested. Sad, and_ disturbing_, that the word 'training' caught her attention more than her boobs had. They were nice boobs too.

Really, they were.

"You know, maybe you're straining too hard. Goku takes things easier, and maybe that's why he can kick your ass so easily."

A hand, startling neat and human without the glove, went to rub his temple. "Why am I so sure I am going to regret this?"

"Does that mean you're seeing my side of things?"

"No." He shifted on the grass, and for a moment she thought that they were the last people on earth, forced to live like animals in nature. And of course they would have to repopulate the planet. Vegeta was already so close to being an animal, no matter how nice that accent could sound, or how high he held his nose.

She pulled another dagger out to throw at him. "If you don't, I'll tell Goku you were mean to me."

His frown deepened.

"And I'll make sure my Dad doesn't repair your gravity chamber. And my Mom never makes you so much as a sandwich."

"Are you blackmailing me?"

"That's such an ugly word. I prefer coercing. It sounds more professional. Huh. You know you have a funny scar where your tail used to be. Say, whatever happened to that thing? Can't you regrow it?"

Vegeta ignored the question. There was a fury darkening his irises. "You would lie and tell Kakarotte I harmed you?"

"Yeah, sure. I've done worse. Why do you think Capsule Corp does so well? By playing nice? Oh no. Corporate espionage is a huge thing. Do you have any idea what I've done to so-called 'crackers' who tried to break into the company?" She whispered the last part.

"I. Hate you."

"I don't care. I don't want you to be nice to me. I can get niceness from any other guy."

You could probably hear his teeth grinding down all the way to her father's basement lab. "You're impossible."

"Oh, I think you're the one being impossible right now."

The sharp jaw was locked. "I could hurt you. By doing this with you."

"Well, we'll just have to find out. Won't we?"

Vegeta fairly crashed into her, growling and hissing. Hate you, hate you, over and over again. All she could do was dig her nails into his skin to whisper her own loathing, how little he cared, what a creep he was and how dare he treat her that way? How dare she treat him that way, didn't she understand that he could simply push her down a flight of stairs and end all this? Oh, so he was so merciful then, hah, he just didn't have the balls to try such a thing. I just need you to help improve my training. Is that what this is, then I worry about what all your fighters do regularly.

Fuck.

Fuck. Oh. Fuck.

Is that supposed to go there?

…yeah, sure it is. Now you stick it in me. Right there.

I hate you. Still. Still. Still.

God, you're so tiny. In every sense.

Hate you. So much.

Still?

Still.

Still, though.

Huh. I. Huh.

What? What?

Just noticing how lopsided your udder are.

Hate you. So much.

Still?

Are you smiling?

Huh, huh.

Fuck. Stop doing that.

I thought you would enjoy that?

No. Stop pawing at my hair.

I am trying to be…nice.

Knock it off. Fuuuuuuuuucck.

…I did not realize we were up a hill.

My back. My hair. Stop pulling. Stop, you're on it. My baaaack.

You need a haircut.

Fuck off. And how did you manage…

I could ask the same.

Stop laughing. It weirds me out.

You…are funny. This is funny. In a strange way. I don't often laugh at things that aren't dying.

I think I'm laying on a rock.

Hilarious. Just hilarious.

Stop laughing! Jackass.

Is it, is it, supposed to feel that way?

Oh yeeeeaah. Just keep doing that. Goddamniiiiiitttt.

Why are there so many bumps here?

Goddamnit. Okay. That's not bad.

Fuck. I. Fuck. I still.

Hate me? Yeah. I hate you a little more now. Ooooh. Hmmm.

Hmm. Uh. Hmm. Mmm.

"I guess it's not the size of the boat, but the motion of the ocean and all that."

But her witty remark went unnoticed.

"Are you asleep? Wimp."

Strangely, she could hear the birds chirping. Not since the store had opened had she heard such a thing. Even the sound of dinosaurs roaring in the distance was heard for the first time in a month. She brushed leaves from her hair, pushed twigs and Vegeta's snoring unconscious body aside, and looked around.

It turned out, they had rolled a bit away from the grove of trees that she thought would hide them from everything.

Very far away.

When she looked up, she could see into the eyes of the red-aproned employees, the polo shirt and khaki wearing customers. Just see the _horror_ in the eyes of her new neighbors through the huge window that revealed a lovely view of Capsule Corp's huge backyard, and drew plenty of people inside for that alone. People were looking on, coffee spilling down the tables and disgust written in their gaping mouths. And not all of them were strangers too.

Yamcha sat near the front, looking on just as offended as the other patrons. He gave her a look of disgust that seared itself into her brain and promised to never leave. Then he shook his head and stood to leave. Unable to take any more of her.

"Yeah! Well!" Her voice rose to break and crack, glaring at her ex-boyfriend. Her hand reached out to grope Vegeta and wake him up in an instant. "We do this every day."

"What? What?"

Then she started yelling at the rude manager who refused to close his store and no longer ruin Bulma's sleeping patterns. "That's right. Every day. Right here."

"What?"

"And I have friends too. Big burly friends with huge arms and pecs. And really loud female friends too."

"What are you talking about woman? Are you _aware that others are looking on us_?"

"And we'll all be here." Bulma vowed, waving her fist at the store window. Suddenly, at Vegeta's nervous and furious words, she was very aware of her nudity. And the coldness. "Every day."

His voice was rising as hers had. "Where are our clothes? _Where are we_?"

"So next time there will be more of us."

"There will? I, gods, woman."

"You can't stop this!" She yelled at the store. "All you can do is move out of the way!"

"Let go of my penis, woman," Vegeta was practically begging. "Let go of my penis."

"Just get out of the way. And stand in awe. _Awe_!"

Only later did the irony of what she said catch up to her, when the following day in a stately courthouse while she fought the absurd restraining order filed against her, and the charge for public indecency and nudity, and then that one for harassment, a disgruntled nurse taking her blood per court order told her that she was pregnant.

And all she could do was stand there, in…


End file.
